Too many people will not live their best life, I want to change that.

After a fatal car accident, I struggled to regain the confidence and security of believing in myself. I had punctured both my lungs, ruptured my aorta and broken my ribs in several places. I had lost my voice and was reduced to a raspy whisper. I went from a charismatic, daring, joyful young man who secured easy attention to someone who struggled to be heard. I was an insecure, fearful and paranoid person in the early stages of my recovery.

I learned to recognize the silver lining that came with setbacks. Out of this horrific auto accident, that changed the path of the lives of my family, I realized that I was now possessed with this immense gratitude for the present. It was starkly clear that while we took the present for granted, disappointed in a life with so many shortcomings, we were completely unaware that this could all change for the worse in a split second. The very same things that you felt were not enough in your life, your height, your weight, your fitness, your financial status, your car, etc., all these things could be taken away or made much worse in a single split second as it were for me. Thus our lack of gratitude for the present presented such a significant negative force, that we focused on what was wrong and not what was right. This all becomes starkly clear when you lose it and wish to have again. I realized that the present was a gift if you lived it like it was. Never would I take my life for granted again.

Now some would say that if you lived in fear of something worse happening or be full of contentment for the present, you could be complacent and end up settling for what you have and lack the drive to be the best you could be. That is not the message. The message is to appreciate the present and what you have because that approach encourages and motivates you to see opportunities instead of disadvantages. Instead of feeling like a victim you will fill like a gladiator, with the will and drive to achieve. Gratitude equips you with a mindset that allows you to see opportunities and possibilities. When you are truly grateful, you turn off the negative perspective that only sees what’s wrong and instead see what is possible. An immigrant comes to the U.S and sees opportunities, while a U.S. citizen sees what is lacking.

With this mindset, I have been able to approach life in a way that is empowering. If you focus on what is lacking, it is like being in the shade and not allowing the light in to see beauty. It is not what is available really but the limitations you set unconsciously. Many immigrants come to the U.S. and happily live in meager quarters, with second hand clothes, cheap cars, etc. but are happy to go to work every day! Because they see possibilities not limitations. Where they came from there were real limitations; no jobs, no real opportunities, no access to higher education, and if there were jobs, you barely earned a living to have food and shelter in an environment rampant with crime and no justice, etc. Compared to that, the U.S. is the jackpot! Truly the land of opportunities! Now they can work, actually save, go to school, etc. and reach for a better life.

When I was in Cambodia, I was visiting like many tourists the sacred site of Angkor Wat, heralded as the largest religious site in the world, spread over 402 acres. We took a break in a little market square to grab some food and refreshments. After leaving one of the many cafes, we were surrounded by about 6 little girls of ages 8 - 14 years old. They were excitedly chattering at the same time as they attempted to get our attention to purchase their merchandise, various souvenirs and handcrafts for relatively very low prices compared to a gift shop. Some of the girls spoke 3-5 languages, no doubt necessary for survival as they communicated with tourists, their customers, from around the world. These little girls had taught themselves how to speak various languages while I couldn’t even get through my Spanish books! What struck me most was their cheerfulness and energy. Some of them were even quite sassy. I remembered asking if I could take a photo of them. One of the girls said, “for how much?”, with a wry smile but I could tell she was not kidding. This was business, I was taking up their time and time was money, as there were other tourists to hit up. My wife got quite a kick out of her boldness and we joyfully overpaid for the photo opportunity. We were saddened but at the same time humbled and inspired. Here were girls that instead of being in school, were trying to make a living. They were not doing it because they “felt like doing it”, they were doing it because there was no other choice. They couldn’t tell their parents as our kids do, “I don’t feel like doing that right now”. I thought to myself what these kids could do in the U.S. with all the opportunities available that our own kids tend to take for granted. In the U.S., we have the luxury of choice, the choice of whether we are in the mood to do this or that. In other countries, you just did what you were required to do, because it was a matter of life and death, it was necessary, end of story. Sometimes we forget, that if you do what is necessary, pretty soon you will find yourself doing the impossible. We have hit the jackpot, the good old USA, don’t forget it! When you travel abroad, this becomes more clear. As much as we squabble about abortion, taxes, guns, LBGTQ, immigrants, this is still the greatest country on earth and if you appreciate your good fortune, you ARE likely to make a fortune!

Over the years, I dealt with personal and financial challenges and quickly realized that the mainstream advice was generic and superficial. They were great sound bites with little teeth. So I began studying and paying close attention to the ones around in my own conquest to be more successful. Of more interest to me were the ones silently succeeding without writing books, instagram posts, blogging or seeking attention as validation for their triumphs. These silent heroes were sending their children to college, taking care of elderly family, and so on, starting from pennies and becoming millionaires. These were ordinary folks achieving remarkably goals by utilizing workable realistic principles. There were many practical and vital lessons here.

While I am still learning because I have yet to maximize my potential, I also know that it is critical that I, we, enjoy the journey because the journey is our life. Many people achieve their goals after 10 years or more with great satisfaction and vindication. However, those ten years are the years that created and find themselves unable to truly enjoy their accomplishments as a result of personal relationships that were casualties along the way or health issues. Sometimes even the world is different and you are no longer to experience places due to political conflict or destruction due to environmental factors or societal disarray. When you achieve your goals, you will bask in the glory and distinction of your achievements but take time along the way to celebrate your progress, your mini accomplishments.

One of the most common regrets that people have is not spending enough time with their loved ones. So enjoy the journey without tearing your relationships apart in the process because those relationships will make it all worthwhile. I believe it is the way we live, that allows or fosters a life of value, moments, memories to cherish, creating a mural of intricate lines, patterns, colors and textures, representative of the depth of our existence. Sometimes we aim for success but miss a successful life, that is, not a life of no regrets, but one with little regrets. That is success.

As a result, I feel compelled to share REAL lessons of regular successful folks that can be implemented to realize a life of empowerment and abundance, a life you can be proud of. If you do anything right, let it be to live fully to be the best you and enjoy that journey.